Thursday, March 06, 2008

Orange Hat Patrol in the Robotic Age

In the old days, many of the trail-blazing residents of Logan Circle would resort to drastic and dramatic measures to combat the crime, drugs, and prostitution that ran rampant in our neighborhood prior to its revitalization. I love hearing stories from them about blocking the streets to keep johns from circling the block, or donning brightly-colored hats and sneaking up on cars with johns and hookers in flagrante and blasting them with air horns.

The modern Neighborhood Watch, though, has some more sophisticated tools under its belt. Like this armoured robot armed with a water canon!

He flashes the robot's spotlight and grabs a walkie-talkie, which he uses to boom his disembodied voice over the robot's sound system.

"I tell them they are trespassing, it's private property, and they have to leave," he said. "They throw bottles and cans at it. That's when I shoot the water cannon. They just scatter like roaches."

I'm not really sure we need another crime-fighting robot in PSA 307, though. After all, we already have Lt. Smith.

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